Today..

I'd like to talk about Vampire Weekend's album, in some circles I believe it is called Contra.

Firstly, I''d like to say fair play to the lads from NYC I think they have shown good progress from their first EP. That's usually all I ask for when listening to anybody's second album, it shows they have a fair bit of talent and they want to get better, rather than just sit on their arses milking the fame.

Sadly, another album released in the springtime with some strange winterness going on "In December drinking horchata.." is the first line. The good news is it simply just gets better from that point onwards. Of course the first (Counsins) and second (Giving Up The Gun) singles taken from this album are highlights. They are just so upbeat and feel quite fresh, even after listening to them for a few times. Also Cousins happens to have a fairly awesome tempo to it.

This album is just great to listen to on a sunny day, with a nice refreshing (alcoholic) beverage to hand, a few friends and the satisfying smell of BBQ. In this situation you can sort of fade in and out of listening to it and just catch wonderful little snippets of lyrics such as "Dad was a risk taker, his was a shoe maker, you, greatest hits 2006 little list maker.".

My only real criticism of this fine selection of vibrations is it sort of peters out towards the end, the last couple of songs (Dimplomat's Son and I Think You're A Contra) are a bit slow and downbeat. Some people will probably say that it crates good balance within the album, but who wants balance these days? When I think of Vampire Weekend I think of awesome summer days with my mates, that's the type of song they do best. However I do admire them for adding a new string to their bow, I just hope their next offering isn't overshadowed by those type of tracks. 

So..

Today I would like to review something, but to be honest, I haven't heard anything worth reviewing these past couple of weeks.

So I shall tell you about my exciting and diverse day. First of all I have super hot new glasses that apparently make me look like Joe 90, but I'm unsure if that is a good or bad thing. As unfortunately I probably wasn't even a sperm when Joe 90 was kicking off and hanging loose.

It's interesting to see how many people can be really nice, when they want to be. Which coincidently is when they want something from you, which I don't really mind too much because I think it's something we are all guilty of doing from time to time. I guess it's in our genes or something.

Sometimes I like to party like it's 2008, it was a far better year than '99.

Now..

That's what's happenin'.

When I woke up to today I was in an excellent mood, especially for a Monday morning, it's just a shame the weather didn't share my mood. However as the day advanced the weather decided to come round to my way of seeing things.

A few things to look forward to, new glasses tomorrow and hopefully a shiny new HTC Desire sometime this week, or whenever O2 decide to get their arses in gear and release it. Also a party at mine on 8th of May, it'll be a sort of BBQ thing, people can stay the night if they want. Fun times.

I miss articulate people, it's more exciting when you have to actually think about what people say and then respond, rather than just responding using your instincts.

I enjoy dancing like an Egyptian. 

So..

It seems that summer has entered the party, and if it isn't it is certainly just walking up the drive. We all know that summer means lazy days, intriguing encounters and interesting nights.

A person who usually takes some preference on my summer soundtrack is Miss Laura Marling. She often encompasses the summer with her peaceful melodies and voice that is as smooth and some freshly veet-ed legs. However to my surprise her new album is different, it's more grown up, and surprisingly even more serious that Miss Marling's usual offerings. Her sound has become more folky with this new album, it does definitely bring something new and interesting compared to the previous album.

Personally I feel there is always a slightly depressed tinge to Laura's lyrics which means you have to be super happy when you are listening, otherwise you just become sad, which nobody wants in summer. I think this album should have been postponed to later on in the year, it has recurring themes of winter, which once again nobody wants in summer.

I think if you are going to listen to any Laura Marling this summer it should be "Alas I Cannot Swim" rather than this current offering. Don't get me wrong it's an awesome album, it has an intensity to it that you sense from the very first track and for that reason alone you should buy it, never mind the usual witty and sometimes cutting lyrics. Buy it and save it, keep it wrapped up and don't even listen to it until October, then you'll be able to appreciate it thoroughly.

For right now, stick with the old stuff.

Well..

So much for getting things off your chest on a blog. The trouble is, people read them, this means you can't be bitchy about anybody, sort of defeating the object of having a blog. 

Musically, I need to be better, I know I can be better, that's the frustrating thing. This weekend I'm going to nail a DJ set to conquer all DJ sets. Trouble is so close to exams (just 5 weeks until my first!!!) finding time to sit down and properly sort out a DJ set. They usually take a couple of weeks, never mind the odd hour here and there. 

On to brighter news, the weather has been pretty decent and it is Friday tomorrow, which is never a bad thing. Back to the bad news, my phone screen isn't playing a nice game with me and keeps not working. Back to good news, my new hair cut is looking not half bad, it has been the centre of all school news all week, hopefully it'll have died down tomorrow.

Now for an exclusive, I can now reveal my new music project will be called Shiny Teeth. Stay tuned for more updates.

I often sit down in a small room and meditate, then cry myself to sleep to dream of rainbows and unicorns and princesses.

Another..

Week begins, and another closer we are to exams. Oh and another week closer to me becoming 18.

I know some people have bad days sometimes and sometimes people aren't in the best of moods, but I don't see any need to be rude. People may think my feelings never get hurt but sadly they are mistaken. Some things really get to me, for reasons that I'm unaware of. I think it gets to me when it's somebody who I think is nice and therefore I wouldn't necessarily expect it from them. I also guess it comes down to who's opinion I value as well. I guess it proves just how few real friends I actually have.

Anyway fuck it being depressed is shit.

I often enjoy being told to "Fuck off".

I Wonder..

What hideous crime I have committed. Oh...hang on a minute...yeah that's right, I haven't committed any crime (apart from all those people I killed). Yet somehow I now find myself going to some sort of temporary prison instead of a school. That's right we are now no longer allowed to leave the premises during the school day, and to reinforce that point? You guessed, a big massive black gate. Personally I feel this stinks of one of those situations where the people who make up these "rules" (which probably breach some sort of human rights) have no idea about the actual situation and they don't realise that some of these "rules" simply will not work. Of course they will discover this in a couple of weeks time, but until then we are stuck having to deal with the utterly ridiculous consequences. I am also fully aware that the measures taken are for our safety, but they fail to see how it will effect both staff and 6th form.

On a lighter note, I think my top secret new musical project is taking shape nicely, a few more finishing touches then I can perform a big unveil with a big pair of novelty scissors and some red ribbon, who knows I may even smash a champagne bottle.

Sometimes I lick inanimate objects.

Everybody..

Has now been back at school for a couple of days. Personally I forgot just how tiring it is, but this is the final push as it were. My last term of school ever, hopefully. I want my exams to be out of the way so I can focus my energy on enjoying myself all summer.

In fairness there isn't much to report about the first few days back at school, nothing of any note has happened. I've been working surprisingly hard and therefore not managed to be focussed on any tom-foolery. A discussion I was having before however alerted me to something that would be nice if it did happen. If I could get a girlfriend for the summer, obviously nothing super serious as I'll be going to university soon hopefully. However it would be nice to be able to spend time with somebody over summer and do exciting things with. We shall see how it plays out shall we?

On a lighter note, the past few days I have been working on the backbone of my new summer DJ set. I have only managed to compile an intro but I think it sounds pretty slick, hopefully I will be able to carry that on all the way through it. Once again, we shall see how it plays out shall we?

I like to cover myself in chocolate body paint, roll around in rice krispies, then go and sit on the shelf in Asda where the rice krispie squares are, wait for somebody to mistake me for a tasty snack then stroke their face and run to safety.

How..

Strange are things/people/situations I find myself in these days.

It has once again been a weird few days. Last night was fun though, the first time I've had chance to have a drink with McCabe and Lauren for a while. I ended up hurting my head on Lauren's car window though. 

I'm in a happy mood and I will now talk about some crap that probably doesn't make sense to me let alone anybody who is bothering to read this dross. I am excited, surprisingly, to go back to school. Let's do this exam shit. I just want them all out of the way now, then I can get to the good bit of life. The living bit. I've booked my tattoo for my birthday, which will hurt, but it'll be worth it. Friends are fun.

Many people don't know that I am the world's 14th best comedian, I'm just extremely shy.

Hey..

What's new?

 Pretty much nothing is the answer to that question. I've finally finished sorting out my I.T work, all 50 questionnaire results in a pretty spreadsheet. I seem to have an abundance of hair these days, I need a shave and a haircut. Might make me look a bit less of some crazy yeti, although...This is a hairless "yeti".

I have another little facebook based treat for you all, this happened the other day at a strange hour of the night:
(Written upon Joe Pearce's wall)

Andy Hayward a guy dressed up as the back half of a horse touched me last night..i didnt know whether to laugh or cry..so i ejaculated :(

(Tom Cross likes this)

Joe Pearce: hahahaha sounds about right that

Andy Hayward: megan was shocked to say the least haha

JP: hahaha you mean "covered"

AH: i unleashed my inner self haha

JP: hahaha in liquified form ?

AH: i think shes pregnant now, on a lighter note i tried to wee while standing in some thorns and by some barbed wire, lucky to survive..

JP: hahaha i doubt it i read a story before about this humble virgin i say story i mean more of a rant... enough said haha

AH: ohhh didn't she get licked out on the last day of leeds? having not washed her vajayjay the entireeee time she was located at the festival, she would have had more bacteria down there than there is fucking limescale on a tap in a cillit BANG advert

JP: hahaha poor it wasnt that but it might aswell have been to be honest haha but believe me its worse than barry scott if that is his real name ?

AH: i bet he goes "BANG" when he cums.

JP: haha either that or "spiderman" haha

Seems we are off school, and I'm at my Dad's house therefore I have no life, I shall now turn to the other focus of this so called "blog", music of course. If you don't believe me it says so in the subtitle. Anyway, firstly to a track I heard a few weeks back originally, but it is awesome none the less, it is Foals - This Orient. Secondly I would like to talk about NightWaves - Sweet Carrie, it is everything that is summer, and summer is everything which this song is. 

Many people don't know this, but I often order a pizza, wait for it to go cold, liquefy it, then use it to shave my legs.

Brilliant..

Yes, I realise this is the second post of the day but I do not care.

People are brilliant, I notice this all the time. However, I don't think many other people do. Most people only realise a person is truly brilliant when they die. Unfortunately, people can also be right idiots, and often make conclusions that simply aren't fact. 

Few know that I often bathe in gravy because, of course, northern boys love gravy.

REAL FRIENDS RULE!

Hilarity personified..

Facebook status number 1:

Andy Hayward isn't it hiiilarious when people become fans of things they have clearly never experienced? pa..ha..ha.haha

Facebook status number 2:

Joe Pearce i agreee with you hahaha

(Andy Hayward likes this)

The resulting comments on status number 2:

AH: LOL

JP: "are you comin up mate"

AH: is that a proposition?

JP: haha why not its all swings and roundabouts in this gamee

AH: in for a penny in for a pound ;)

JP: hahaha why not i wonder on a scale of 1-13.7 with -4 being the highest how many people if any know what the fuck were on about ?

AH: 7% of all people surveyed didnt know who we were never mind what we were talking about.

14 hours ago · 

JP: inoo haha the other 93% were just made up or ant an dec robbed them or something 

AH: haha you touch kids :P

JP: somebody has too haha<< i think i took that a bit far

AH: some of the kids say you did, i say you didnt go far enough with me :(

JP: hahaha i just couldnt reach that far OK.. get over it :P

AH: i'll get tom "the one stroke wonder" holmes in ;)

JP: hahahaha tom " the elephants trunk" Holmess you whill go on my first whissstllleee 

AH: haha tom "i contain a river of sperm in my ball bags" holmesssssss...heavyyyyyyyweight champion of the worrrrrrrrlddddddd

JP: hahaha hes gonna recreate the BIG BANG one day

AH: hes got a hayemaker and a half ;) TRUST ME..ive seen it haha

JP: hahaha tom is a bit like david haye but hes gone 17 years instead of 6 week if you remember what i mean haha

AH: haha yes i do, one hump then "AAAAAARRRGHHHHH" haha he is also like david haye in the fact that he has the exact same muscular structure :)

JP: hahaha tom would love to be david haye hed finally get a belt that fits :O < i think i went to far again haha

AH: tom doesnt wear a belt because it stops the flow when hes making foreplay, belts are always tricky to get off, especially when the poor boy toms making do it has his hands tied, and a blindfold on :P

JP: hahaha i forgot bout toms heavy flow.... hes moral is its just popped up to see you now its going in to meet you :P

AH: eye to eye :P

That my friends, is how it's done.

Fuck it..

Two words that have been around for many a lifetime, and I am sure they will be around for many more. They make people do things, not always necessarily good things, but none the less that phrase generally stops people from doing nothing. A lot of the time I think bad things can be prevented from happening by people doing something, doing nothing doesn’t help anybody.

The past couple of days have been particularly eventful, that is probably why I haven’t posted much. I have a feeling the next few days will be just as eventful. Last night was pretty fun, I didn’t go out until half past twelve and didn’t get in until four. Speaking of which “Did you go to bed about twenty to four last night?”, is what I have just been asked this second by my mother. She has no idea. I would also like to say a thank you to Alan Titchmarsh for his work in making this morning nice and relaxing. 

Out again tonight, it should be fun, drinking with some friends at Sam’s 18th. This will probably be the first time I’ve properly had a drink with all of them. 

Little do many know that I often shower fully clothed, washing myself and my clothes at the same time, saving water, energy and time.