It's..

Never what you do, it's always what you don't do, that makes you a good or bad person. I guess that makes me a bad person.

Some crazy woman is coming round to take pictures of the house today, looks like it is actually going up for sale. Semi homelessness awaits for me, and I am just thrilled. On to lighter matters, I don't mind at all if somebody tells me they don't what to do something, that's fair enough. What really pisses me off is if somebody says they are going to do something then they proceed not to do it. Personally I think that's just bad mannered. 

Fuck it? Fuck it.

Sorry..

Once again I haven't posted for a few days, I imagine you will all start getting withdrawal symptoms if I don't do this today.

Were going straight into the issue today. To be brutally honest at the moment I am a frustrated boyman. We as human beings pretty much still have the whole "I need to find the best mate" mentality, this means a lot of our behaviour is manipulated to do this. The way we dress, act, do our hair, all the exercise we do, everything. So if you don't find anybody that you have that strange spark thing going on with then you tend to get a bit subconsciously depressed. Which probably leads to all sorts of mental issues. I'm probably at the subconsciously depressed stage, which means my mind is pretty much now constantly screaming "FIT IN!", but firstly, I don't see how that will help me find that sparky thing and secondly, who wants to fit in? I'd much rather be a square running at triangular shaped holes and leaving a big square hole in my wake. This inevitably leads to other people trying to be squares when the notice the hole you've left. I have mixed feelings about that though, it annoys me that people have to copy but I also feel flattered, not that I get copied of course. 

I want to write something else but alas I feel it will offend pretty much all of you so I'll leave it out. Wouldn't want to lose any of the few friends I have.

Several people might know that I once managed to dislocate my thumb in a restaurant and then proceeded to use my pint to make sure it didn't swell up. 

Well..

It's finally 1 day until we break up for a few weeks. Even though it'll involve loads of work it means I don't have to get up early, and I guess I can have a few days off right?

today I've continued to pile on the music work and discovered Ableton is a bitch to DJ with, but alas I shall persevere and hope it works out well. If not I shall have to revert back to the old ways. If you so called regular readers haven't noticed I am trying to give this blog a bit of actual content rather than just my semi drunkard ramblings concerning the days events. Don't worry I'm fully aware this will interest none of you at all, but don't worry you'll still get your ramblings.

In fairness today was a fairly normal day, although my penis wasn't mentioned apart from me telling my form teacher that mine didn't look like a picture she was holding of a penis with some sort of sexually transmitted illness. My biceps were also spoken about by various sexually frustrated persons in I.T. Roll on tomorrow that's what I say.

Only a chosen few know this but...When I was a small child I was raised by elves, who are surprisingly good at sex, I of course was too young to even comprehend this and therefore learned nothing of their ways, sorry guys.

Hey..

Sorry guys, been a bit engrossed in my music work over the past couple of days.

Today I was both shocked and horrified to uncover a plot to humiliate me. I believe the plan was to stick a sanitary towel with the words "I've got the clap" or something of that effect, onto my back. Fortunately I foiled this plan and managed to run away before the plan had time to happen. 

Do you know one of the things I like most about making music? You never ever stop learning new things, you are always finding out new ways of doing things that either improve your sound or allow you to achieve the same results in a less complicated way. It is also always different, every time I do some music work something different always happens. It's an amazing feeling when something goes how you hear it in your head. 

Unknown to many is the fact that I have a pet woodlouse called Eric.

Well..

There's a few interesting days for you.

Friday was pretty awesome, starting with the Wirral One Hundred, having a lovely conversation with; McCabe, Lauren, Blair, Nat, Scarlett and Greg sort of. Then on the way to Hayley's party Lauren managed to get us lost, which was clearly all part of the fun. Then while at the party various wonderful and interesting things happened, including gaining a pound from a condom machine thanks to McCabe. I also had a very interesting conversation with Linzi and Lucie. Then spent a whole hour walking home. That's pretty much a very brief summary.

Yesturday was pretty fun as well.

Now I'd like to bore you all and talk about something that I should have spoke about like 2 weeks ago. It is the sad fact that Chester City F.C doesn't exist anymore, I suppose it is a bit of a sore point that's why I haven't spoke about it. I guess I'm waiting for the "FC United" effect to kick in and a super new club to appear. 

There's a small woman in Tibet who is exactly 67 and she knows how to make perfect outfits for me, including underwear.

Well..

I can't promise the dizzying social heights of yesturdays blog, which was widely spoken of today. However I can promise one free kiss for all readers (if I get shown proof of you actually reading this blog.)

Today, seems it's that most joyous of days that is St. Patrick's Day I would like to discuss Irish people. I've only ever been to Ireland once, Dublin more specifically, and to be honest the people remind me a lot of people from Liverpool, I know this is probably due to the fact there are a lot of Irish people in Liverpool. However you can just sense there is just something which is just more positive and welcoming when ever you are there, which is a very nice feeling to have when you are wondering around a place.

I have only ever actually had a proper conversation with one Irish person, Emily her name was, and the conversation took place in Majorca if I recall correctly. The only 2 things I really remember about her are that she had an orange ribbon in her dark brown hair and she had the most memorising big brown eyes. Oh and not forgetting the awesome Irish accent.

Not many people know that practice kissing on Heidi my cat.

The..

Past few days have been fun, as usual.

While all the excitement of SXSW is going on I'm stuck in the dreary depths of Ellesmere Port, Queensferry and the adjoining roads. However I can't complain as nothing is really wrong at all, apart from one thing that has been gnawing away at me for some time now. I feel I could do with a girlfriend. I don't really know why though, I guess I just want somebody to hang out with and have fun with, but there aren't too many people with which you can do that with these days. Of course they have to be pretty much perfect in every way, and there is even less of those people around.

I actually love women, all of them, they rev my engine. Some are quite literally amazingly attractive, I find myself just lured towards them, like I'm a big lump of Steel being seduced by a big sexy magnet. I can't help myself, without the female form I shall be nothing, it inspires all my work, past, present and future. Sure you can have your money, 60 inch flat screen TVs, big mansions and executive saloons, and you can keep them, I would be more than happy with the love of a good (and amazingly beautiful) woman and music. All the other things are just bonuses.

It's a little known fact that I have an evil American twin called Bob.

Well..

Isn't that good news on this fine Mother's Day Eve, my Grandad is finally out of hospital, which is awesome, he greeted me with the usual "Still doing the barbers out of business?". Awesome.

Isn't it weird how us humans, well the smart ones, can learn from other people's experiences and allow them to put their own experiences into perspective. I think this is a very good skill for any person to have, it's a sign, to me anyways, that somebody is very emotionally aware. I like emotionally aware people, they know how to sense the mood of a person or room. They also know when to leave you alone or when they need to say something to cheer you up. 

There was once an antique spoon called Mr. Terry Dominquez, he used to be constantly annoyed because all of his brothers and sisters had been melted down to be turned into the crown jewels. He was extremely jealous because they all now got loads of attention and he was just kept in a drawer in Buckingham Palace, lost and forgotten. Then one day he was discovered by a little old lady, she took him in, took care of him, polished him and everything. Terry was still annoyed however. Then one day he was all rapped up in his favourite denim jacket and he and the little old lady went for a drive. Soon after they were in a large hall and Terry was staring up at a mahogany faced man, the one, the only David Dickinson! Then terry spotted the camera, this was his time to shine! He was truly happy. He got sold for £50 at auction, he didn't feel this was enough so he turned savage, spooning everybody in that auction room to death, including the little old lady and Dickinson. He is now the most famous spoon in the world, kept bound and gagged in the Tower of London, right next to his brothers and sisters.

I like to cover myself in lime green paint then writhe around on a canvas and sell it as "art"

FORWARDS! 

How..

Annoying are some things, some people seem to put pretty much no effort or thought into life what so ever, and they still end up getting exactly what they want. Where as us people who actually try such as myself get all the rubbish stuff. We don't get the jobs we want, or get on the courses we want to do or get the person we want to be with. The way of the world doesn't make sense in any way.

Finding it a bit hard to stick by my "If you want to do something then do it." motto recently, it's turned into more of a "Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge." as the Grandmaster of Flash would say.

I shall leave with a literary reference.."Fuck it? Fuck it." That is all.

Isn't..

It really annoying when you try really hard at something and not only don't you get a "well done" you still end up rubbish at the thing you've tried really hard at?

Life sucks sometimes.

Well..

I'm back in the game. 

Today I realised how sometimes I can be pretty good at stuff. I am more than aware that to the majority of you this just sounds like Andy being big headed, but you know what, everybody is awesome in my opinion, so why can't I be a bit awesome some of the time? Don't get me wrong people can be right bellends sometimes, and that's why I choose my friends and just ignore the opinions of people who I know haven't really ever thought about any decision or opinion they have. I think, as far as I can make out they just recycle opinions or thoughts other idiots have just thought out loud.

I would like to go to university now please. I need to make some music my bitch! I like to make music that's intense, just how I like my DJ sets to be. I think it's really awesome to get a really deep bass and build it from there, so what if it blows a speaker or two and makes everything vibrate. Doesn't half get people going, and me for that matter, I love it!

It's a little known fact that I often eat rose petals in the night times.

Keep on rockin' it!

Wow..

Isn't it interesting when you make decisions that even surprise yourself. Afterwards you always think, why the hell did I decide that. Sometimes however, very rarely, those decisions turn out to be good ones instead of bad ones. I think if more people managed to trust their own judgement those good surprises would happen more often.

I've been having thoughts that are edging towards negative recently, which isn't good. I have positive thoughts all the time about everything. I don't like being in my own company when my mind is being negative, I need to be around people doing things, anything so I don't have to endure my mind telling me a load of rubbish. People however have refused to come out with me during the times when I've needed this company, I think now the negative is starting to build up, I need to get it out of my system.

On a lighter note, in my spare time I enjoy racing small and furry woodland creatures, we are just starting a new season and to be honest badgers are looking like coasting to victory, squirrels however have a new aerodynamic package coming in a few weeks so who knows.

Keep on plodding.

..

It's funny how we prioritise,

When nothing really matters.

The universe doesn't care,

Whatever the colour of your bloody hair,

The universe doesn't care,

Which shoes you decide to wear.

It'll carry on regardless,

However you want to dress,

It'll still spin and grow, engulf and create,

No matter how much you masturbate.

I'M HERE ALL WEEK!

Do..

You know what the best feeling in the world is? Me either. However I do recall a pretty good feeling. Do you know when you are at that stage of being drunk where everything is just awesome, like where you can't look at yourself in the mirror without smiling? Everything is just sort of better, everything has sort of a fuzzy tinge to it.

On a completely unrelated topic. Do you know what day I enjoy the most out of all the days in the year? That first day of the year where it's warm, like warm enough to actually sunbathe, warm enough to just sit there and be happy. Be happy in the peace and quiet and warmth. Usually it has to be a day where I'm not in school for me to be able to truly appreciate it. I find there is a strange hum in the air when it is above 20 degrees in finest England (or Wales) it makes folk more relaxed and happy.

On another unrelated topic. I attended Chester University (Warrington Campus) today, seems I'll be going there in September (hopefully) I thought I best give it a once over. It was OK I suppose, a bit shit, but I'm hoping the people will make it awesome. A great man once wrote a poem about a road through some woods. I like to think it was a metaphor for a road through life. I think it's a fair point that everybody has to do their own thing, and they shouldn't change their thing just because somebody else does something differently. Only trouble is, last line of the poem is "But there is no road through the woods." Fuck.

OMFGZZZZ I HEART BOOBS BOXERS FTW!!

fml.

A..

Great man once defined becoming a man as; when everybody else is being a bellend, doing the opposite and not caring what they think. Loose everything and not bitch about it to everybody in sight. Don't lie about or hate anybody and being able to run for an entire minute. Doing all those things however would also make you king of the Earth and we all know that position doesn't exist therefore, in conclusion, real men no longer exist.

Today was quite weird, as all my days are. It started off with the newly formed spectator sport of watching my mum scrape ice off the car windows. I have also realised my penis is pretty much the most talked about penis possibly in the world. Ever. It must come up in conversation at least 3 times everyday. I shall not complain however because me and him pretty much love all the attention. I need a haircut, it's getting shocking now.

I don't get why some people that I have never really spoken a word to in my life have already decided that they don't like me at all. To be honest I don't really mind people not liking me that's understandable, but don't dislike me when you don't even know me, that's just not fucking cool. 

I visited a postcard factory the other day. It was alright. Nothing to write home about.

Back to another day in fucking paradise.

What..

Would you write about if you didn't really have anything to say? No idea? Me either.

So I guess I'll just keep typing and hope something mildly interesting end up on the screen, if this doesn't happen however I do apologise. Today has been like some long hard battle all day, and I have no real idea why. I could do with a stiff drink, or some form of drug. 

CEEB!

I..

am at a lost end as to what to write about today, but I will soldier on none the less and still manage to produce a couple of hundred words about pretty much nothing at all.

I am fully aware I pretty much never ever ever make a point, and I don't ever intend to make a truly serious point. If you know me at all you'll know it's completely not my character to be serious, or make a point for that matter. Which I think is one of the better points to my character at times, it allows me to diffuse situations quite easily. 

Anyway onto more important things such as summer. Everybody seems to be really up for this summer and I'm unsure as to why, probably because it'll be the first summer where everybody is 18 or about to be 18. This should equate to one big super party, but I know for a fact it won't play out that way at all. For a start nobody will probably have any money, I certainly know I won't even though I've started saving already. The people that will have money however will be in work all the time, this means they won't be able to go out either. 

In fairness I am excited about a few things I suppose. My birthday of course, which I shall do everything in my power to make absolutely amazing. It is on a Monday which I suppose allows me to warm up all week then go out on the following Friday and Saturday and "Crank it up to the gigawatt's". Hopefully on the Monday I shall have my tattoo done as well, it will be the first initials of all of my family members; Nans, Grandads, Mum, Dad, Martin and Grace and Lily. 

I am also excited about going to university I guess. I can't wait to be free of both Ellesmere Port and it's little bastard inhabitants. The lower years in school now have become beyond a joke. I know university won't be much of a step up as I'm only going to Warrington, but it has to be better than Ellesmere Port right? Also it means I'll be doing something that, to be honest, I actually love doing. I love manipulating other people's music, and making my own of course. I am really excited about being able to better myself musically, and learning more about how music effects people's moods and society.

I hope that leaning all these new skills will allow me to get better at the sole activity I enjoy most in life, DJ-ing. I feel like a different person when I've got the headphones on and I'm in the booth. Nothing is important for that hour or hour and a half, it becomes just about me, the music and people having a good time. I try my hardest to make sure everybody has a good time every time I do a set and that's why it really does hurt me if people say it isn't very good. People really do not appreciate the amount of work it takes to put a DJ set together, as far as they are aware I press play then stand there looking pretty. That couldn't be further from the truth.

If you didn't know my left foot is bigger than my right foot. 

Onwards!

Isn't..

The world a funny place.

Today I learnt that the smallest, most insignificant things can make me happy. I don't even know how the action in question made me happy, but it certainly put a smile on my face. I think people often take those minute feelings of happiness for granted, they allow them to pass by without even noticing them half the time. People tend to allow them to be overshadowed by all the complete and utter rubbish that goes on.

Oh I dance to "I'm Like A Bird" by Nelly Furtado at least once a day, EVERY DAY!

Isn't it a really good feeling when things just work?