Thing's We've Learnt This Year..

Snow is Evil!
"Awww isn't that lovely?" rings out throughout the land, and in theory they are correct, but in practice, as a country we simply cannot deal with those tiny 6 sided flakes of frozen water. We tend to loose all sense of balance, driving ability and go generally a bit strange. This causes car crashes, falls and lot's of completely over the top news reports about an inch of frosty white goodness.

2 isn't Always Better Than 1.
Simply, David Cameron and Nick Clegg fail.

We are Rubbish at Football.
Remember the World Cup? In the 2009-2010 Barclay's Premiership under 40% of the players were English, we are simply rubbish at sports we have invented. This extends to; Tennis (The highest ranked English men's player at the end of this year was James Ward, ranked 201st. The highest ranked female is Elena Baltacha ranked 55th, whose parents are both Ukrainian). Badminton (Highest ranked male: Rajiv Ouseph who is 14th. Highest ranked female: Elisabeth Cann who is ranked 32nd).


There are of course lots of other things, but I was far too busy enjoying myself to remember any of those.


Merry Christmas to all!

50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch X Factor..

Hello fair maidens and very gentle men. Today, simply, is a list of things I would rather do than watch X Factor, seems as status' on pretty much every social networking website are dominated by it whilst it is being broadcast. so here goes:

1. Shooting myself in the kneecaps.
2. Shooting myself in the face.
3. Shooting all my family members in the face.
4. Shooting all my friends in the face.
5. Shooting my girlfriend in the face.
6. Removing a limb using a blunt knife.
7. Cooking and eating said removed limb.
8. Letting myself be violated by a leading gay porn star.
9. Never wearing any form of clothing ever again.
10. Doing an anti-muslim comedy tour of Asia with extra dates in Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Yemen.
11. Becoming a eunuch.
12. Becoming blind.
13. Becoming deaf.
14. Becoming paralysed.
15. Becoming a mute.
16. Becoming an orphan.
17. Having a leg amputated the having a wooden peg leg.
18. Losing all of my possessions.
19. Losing all of my hair.
20. Having to become a male prostitute.
21. Having my girlfriend cheat on me.
22. Dying.
23. Getting lost in space.
24. Being in a plane crash.
25. Committing suicide.
26. Having my skin taken off.
27. Being forced to travel the world on a horse, saddleless.
28. Having to listen to a cat drowning for the rest of my life.
29. Being punched really hard in the gentleman cucumber.
30. Having to live with Piers Morgan.
31. Having to live with Kerry Katona.
32. Being Kerry Katona.
33. Being Kerry Katona's child.
34. Being Kerry Katona's mother.
35. Having sex with Kerry Katona.
36. Having to look at a Picture of Kerry Katona.
37. Living in a landfill site.
38. Sanding off my own fingers/toes.
39. Becoming the world's fattest man.
40. Having sex with the world's fattest man.
41. Becoming the world's fattest transexual.
42. Having sex with the world's fattest transexual.
43. Becoming the world's fattest woman.
44. Having sex with the world's fattest woman.
45. Living underground.
46. Being Joseph Fritzel's daughter.
47. Having to live a day in the life of everybody who watches the X Factor.
48. Licking a snail.
49. Watching paint dry.
50. Walking like an Egyptian for the rest of my life.

Well..

Here we go again eh? I am back on Blogger for now and I am going to be making the most of it with a fairly epic post.

Firstly and finally I bring you my short review of LCD Soundsystem's final ever offering "This Is It". Firstly I would like to discuss the bad points of the album, starting with "Drunk Girls" personally I feel this is a repetitive mess that just completely doesn't fit with the rest of the album. However, James Murphy himself has claimed this track to be ironic to a certain extent so I suppose this one time I can left him off. The only other criticism I have of this album is that it is indeed the final ever collection of tracks to be released by LCD Soundsystem, I know Mr. Murphy and Co. are getting on a bit now (he's 40ish) and they have been doing stuff for quite a while but I still feel they could quite easily bring out another superb album.

Now to the good things. Firstly, the way every song with the exception of "Drunk Girls", builds amazingly well from a basic and melodic intro into an actual masterpiece, a masterpiece where James' voice and the music just seem to fit together so perfectly, it's like an elaborate 3-D jigsaw puzzle for the ears. Particular highlights for me include "Pow Pow" which has a faint familiarity to it due to it's similar feel to "Beat Connection" (without the 4 minute intro!). It also contains a wonderful noise in the background that sounds like an ice cream van that sort of takes you by surprise when it appears and then before you know it it has disappeared and the silky smooth "Pow"s are back at the forefront of your conciousness. "Dance Yrself Clean" is the first track off of the record and personally my favourite, mainly for the sheer genius that occurs after the traditional slow LCD Soundsystem intros that we have all become familiar with, this particular genius occurs after 3 minutes and 6 seconds. The melody just takes the listener completely by surprise and encapsulates that magnificent ability of LCDSS to completely transform a track instantaneously.

Overall I just have one sentence to say: What a wonderful way to end a fantastic era, sensational and inspirational, as always.

So how is everybody's summer going so far? I have to say mine has been simply fantastic, I do have truly wonderful friends and I feel very privileged. Yesterday for example I went out at 11 o'clock in the morning with a bag filled with 5 cans of Strongbow, a can of Red Bull and little Korg Kaosillator synth. I ended up in Liverpool for 5 hours drinking cocktails at Las Iguanas in Liverpool One. Also what I have no doubt is about to enhance my summer greatly is my holiday to Rhodes in 15 days, booked just the other day. It will be nice to lie on a sun bed and read a few books for a week. Oh, and get extremely drunk probably. Hopefully I shall still be able to post a few things on here whilst there.

Not many people know this about me but I have a craving for egg, we have no eggs.

Once..

Again, as I now seem to start all posts, I apologise for the recent lack of reading material for you all to ponder over.

I am actually in a really really exceptionally good mood today. Everything seems to be picking up for a change, things are going right, the Sun is shining and I have captured a pretty lady.

I also have many other exciting things, like it is my 18th birthday in 47 days and I finish school in 43 days. I believe this is what they call "the final push" in wars and stuff, I just hope I can live up to expectations eh?

Not many people know this but Steph is pretty.

Hola..

Everybody, how are you all this fine Thursday?

I'm fine before you ask by the way. Straight into a crazy story today no fucking around.

Isn't it sometimes just really awesomely nice just to have a conversation with a person that you wouldn't really expect to speak to you? I think everybody should start asking people how they are, the world would be a much nicer place, and a lot less would get done. However there wouldn't be those strange humans who have no people skills at all, because they'd have to talk to people.

I haven't really got much else to say in fairness, have a nice evening though.

Not many people know this so keep it on the down-low, I sometimes just buy a jar of apricot jam, sit there, and gorge myself on it's sugary goodness.