50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Watch X Factor..

Hello fair maidens and very gentle men. Today, simply, is a list of things I would rather do than watch X Factor, seems as status' on pretty much every social networking website are dominated by it whilst it is being broadcast. so here goes:

1. Shooting myself in the kneecaps.
2. Shooting myself in the face.
3. Shooting all my family members in the face.
4. Shooting all my friends in the face.
5. Shooting my girlfriend in the face.
6. Removing a limb using a blunt knife.
7. Cooking and eating said removed limb.
8. Letting myself be violated by a leading gay porn star.
9. Never wearing any form of clothing ever again.
10. Doing an anti-muslim comedy tour of Asia with extra dates in Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Yemen.
11. Becoming a eunuch.
12. Becoming blind.
13. Becoming deaf.
14. Becoming paralysed.
15. Becoming a mute.
16. Becoming an orphan.
17. Having a leg amputated the having a wooden peg leg.
18. Losing all of my possessions.
19. Losing all of my hair.
20. Having to become a male prostitute.
21. Having my girlfriend cheat on me.
22. Dying.
23. Getting lost in space.
24. Being in a plane crash.
25. Committing suicide.
26. Having my skin taken off.
27. Being forced to travel the world on a horse, saddleless.
28. Having to listen to a cat drowning for the rest of my life.
29. Being punched really hard in the gentleman cucumber.
30. Having to live with Piers Morgan.
31. Having to live with Kerry Katona.
32. Being Kerry Katona.
33. Being Kerry Katona's child.
34. Being Kerry Katona's mother.
35. Having sex with Kerry Katona.
36. Having to look at a Picture of Kerry Katona.
37. Living in a landfill site.
38. Sanding off my own fingers/toes.
39. Becoming the world's fattest man.
40. Having sex with the world's fattest man.
41. Becoming the world's fattest transexual.
42. Having sex with the world's fattest transexual.
43. Becoming the world's fattest woman.
44. Having sex with the world's fattest woman.
45. Living underground.
46. Being Joseph Fritzel's daughter.
47. Having to live a day in the life of everybody who watches the X Factor.
48. Licking a snail.
49. Watching paint dry.
50. Walking like an Egyptian for the rest of my life.